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Saturday, December 31, 2011
Piuuuuupiuuuupiuuuu!
I'm spending the last day of the year hereeee in port dickson :) it's been a long time since I've been here :P and it's been a longer time since I've spent my new year with my mom's relatives. We're staying over at the sime darby tractor bungalow and it is amazinnnng. With a huge field that faces the beach, table tennis, and a barbecue pit, life has never been so goooood HAHA
  (I uploaded only two photos because the others were a bit too crazy looking :Y )
Half a day has passed and we've played loads of activities! I would gladly post the photos up now but I can't :( they're all still in the g12 haaahhh the g12 arrived yesterday just in time for the trip :P even if I had photos in the phone, i wouldn't be able to post them up ngekkk. And guess what, my team won! HAHA we had to run a distance while holding balloons up between two heads and also while holding up ping pong balls with chopsticks. We had to peel and eat fruits as fast as possible and count the number of seeds we had HAHAHA the last game was the photo treasure hunt! Which was not bad and also challenging :Y It's currently 1.39pm and everyone's getting restless and they're all taking naps HAHAA
I can't wait for tonight's barbecue and countdown :) yayyyy.
Jeeez. HAHA i really really wanna try getting some of it back but, yeah nothinggg. I don't know whether you know what my intentions are but it's okaaaayyy. It's not like anyone gives two hoots about it anywayyyyy.
I walk down the beach and look at the shells and I think of crabs clawing into your shirt HAHAHAHA. And then I see a huge tree with a tent nearby and I think of that caution sign HAHAHA and maps.
But ah, just forget it hmmmm ?
Gooooooodbye 2011 and helllllllo 2012. 2011 has beeeen a good year HAHA I've had my ups and downs but what's life if it isn't much of a roller coaster ride ?
x, spare my broken English pleaseee heeeheeee. I might update a little bit more laterrrr.
Updateeee; I went on a banana boat ride just now! Yayyyy! New experience :)))))))) funny how all my thoughts just drifted away. We had barbecue lamb which was m'mmm succulent! And now we're playing with cards awaiting for 12oclock to arrive! 2011 has been nice.ohmygod. No regrets and so many new experiences. I'll just have to let go Mmhmm time yo time :( haha anyway, another 2 more hours until 2012! Ain't that scaryyyyy? And am I the only one who constantly checks last seen?!? Jeez.
HAPPPPY NEW YEARRRR!
Friday, December 30, 2011
“@AllAboutTaurus: In a relationship #taurus just apologize from the beginning about constantly building walls. Hey at least you're good at it...”
I found this on twitter omggggg this is so me HAHAHAHAHA
Thursday, December 29, 2011
 Funny how I need to wear my specs to get my nerd mode on. HAHAHA
I finally started on my english essssays :) Or maybe just one of it :P I am too lazy to start on the other summmmary piece yuck. Anyway, I headed over to The Gardens to shop with my mommy to search for a new pair of shorts but I couldn't really find any pretty ones soo yeah ;/ Instead, I got two new rings, a new swimsuit, and two books yayyy!
I feel much better today, I mean, nobody really cares how miserable I'm feeling, so I might as well be happy. Forget everything and maintain that ffff word. "Trust Nobody."-2Pac. 2Pac has never been so right!
Don't worrrrry huilynn, it's allll goooooooooood (Y) HAHA. This is me trying to make myself feel better. sigh.
And I'm so sorry. HAHAHA I get mad too, okay? And when I'm mad, I tend to say things that I don't mean :(
Oh and what is up with the weather nowadays? This oppressive heat is killing me. Heeehee anyway I don't think I would be posting for the next three days :P I wouldn't be home! So, Happy New Year everybody :) 2011 has beeeeen amazinnng even though there were definitely some rough times, but yeah we've got to learn from them and have no regrets. New year, new life huh?:/
x
updateee! I just realized that my 2011's new year resolution was a complete failure. To not get butt hurt over silly little things? HAAHHA fail to the max. So yeah I actually spent some time rereading my previous blog posts and boyyy were they depressing to read. See, i told you it wasn't just a few months, it was a wholeee damn year. I was so scared and I had doubts, HAHA that was stupid. Ahh i hate my feelings. HAHAHA die, bitch, dieee!
And to anyone who reads all my posts, I probably sound like a depressed, pathetic loser, but yeah I'm not because I'm just speaking my mind. I know that dwelling on the past can be self defeating but I find myself feeling better after posting about it or maybe I'm just in need of a talking companion :/ hmm.
Anyhow, 2012 is gonna be a good year, i hope! :)
I guess I'll just never know huh ?
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Camwhored with my mommmma's phone in my brothah's roooom.
MY FRINGE IS SO SHORT NOW.
so hard to blowww :(
it keeps getting in my eyesss.
my teeeth look amazingly white here brahhh.
I finally wrote whatever that I was feeling down into my polka dotted boook last night. You wouldn't believe it but i broke down while writing in it. After that, i pulled out an old journal and flipped to the back and I couldn't believe what i read, it was all about you. HAAH from last year. Amazingggg. I broke down even more .
I just realized that I've been posting evvvveryday! kudoss (Y)
Ohh since no one really reads this blog, Imma be posting a few questions that I really wanna ask right now. Where are you? How was your day? Are you mad at me? Mood at the moment? How's life? better? HAHA Can we still talk about anything? Likeee, what's your favourite colour now? HAHA You okayy? You hungry? Cause I'm hungry. HAHAHAHA sorry.
Oh god it just feels like I'm talking to myself HAHA
The more I care, the more I'll be emotionally challenged.
SO, GOODBYE CARING.
x; funny how you think it's all about you.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
You don't believe that it's possible to get those moments back, do you?
I want to believeeee so.
WHY?
cause you're different.
Maybe i was wrong .
HAAAHAHA.
(edited)
I got my baby back harharharharharhar.
Reality is starting to sink in :'( I won't be able to avoidddddd it as much now.
School is starting. IGCSE is right around the corner. Oh daaaamn.
New Year's resolutions?
- To not make promises i know i won't keep. It’s just the start of the year. I shouldn't lie.
- Control my emotions.
- Study hard and kick assssss in da exams. HAHAHAH
- Let everything go. If it's meant to be, it will be.
- More fun, less fear.
- To be compelled to try even more things.
- To not be afraid of simple things anymore.
- To forget about limitss, to try to go pass them.
- To aim higher.
- To be happppppy.
I guess that's good enough! HAHA omg I'm currently listening to an Adele vs. Pink vs. 4 Non Blondes vs. Ben E. King vs. Snow Patrol vs. Lady Gaga vs. Whitney Houston song called Who Knew Someone Like You. It is amaaaaazing. But that stupid Snow Patrol song got me all alighalsihgalisg :'( "Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. Once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it." What if lost it? It's a whole different story, right?:( stop ittttt. x
Sunday, December 25, 2011
 This was taken quite some time ago heeehe I look so retarded.
I miss my phone. but guess what, I'm getting my baby back tomorrow. ayeee (Y)(Y)
Okay. See I told you this was my getaway place. HAAAAHA. Christmas is endinggg and every part of me aches because I know I've got no courage to just tap tap tap the phone. Gnokk. I admit that I am very inquisitive by nature and I am soooo so curious at the moment but I can't do anything about it . Anyway, I just watched MI4! Finally! Even though the show was not as suspenseful as expected, it was still goood. Damn, that sexy BMW i8 whoa. That mission impossible theme song is stuck in my head :( deng deng deng deng. I need to stop hoping and believing. I just need to stop all that. Stop thinking about perfect moments , nothing. Stop everything. HAHA That's the only way.
HEEEEEEE, I CAN DO IT.
x
Saturday, December 24, 2011
So I was like totally camwhoring in the gym's restroom area waiting for my mom when I realized that this woman was staring at me .aaawwwwkwardddd :Y
Anyway,my blog has recently became a place where i'd just spill out everything that's on my mind. I promised myself that I'd start writing in my pretty juicy journal but I didn't want to pollute it with such depressing thoughts. That explains why the last few posts have been really shitttty. sorry :/ Is it wrong to be thinking about things and breaking down all of a sudden? I mean, I can't help ittttt.
Anywayyyy,
it was Christmas eve and Limin invited me over to her place for a Christmas party HAHA And guess what, it was my very first! And it was cooool :) Even though I didn't bring a present , we still exchanged gifts and I got a pretty little polka dotted notebook and a tiny little candy cane. sooo adorable. What's ironic is that there were words on the cover and it read 'Although time may change so many things, happiness and friendship never change.' I mean, what is uppppp. The present chose me HAHAHAHAHA
To be honest, that's all i really wanted again, that 10 letter F word. HAHAHAHA but i don't know, i just don't know how, i don't know when, i don't know whether and i don't know who. I want answers and I need closure, and I'm too afraid to ask, because I am not so sure whether I want to know the truth.
It's currently 1.40AM,25.12.11 and I am dyinggg in front of the computer out of fatigue because I woke up approximately 17 and a half hours ago. I am going to sleeeeeep soon .
So yeah I miss my phone, and I know it's wrong, but I also miss you. HAAAH. Know that.
Merrrrry Christmas :)
x
latest achievement : finished the book Digital Fortress by Dan Brown. HAAAA (Y)
Friday, December 23, 2011
Maybe it's not me, or you. HAHA it's going to be the memories that kill me. know thaaat.
i hate my feelings. go awaaaaaaaayy feeeelings gooooo awayyyy.
evaporate. HAHAHA
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I was boreeedddd.
firefighters,lighters, fingers, blisters, bitter, chicken fingers? Do these words ring a bell? Mannn I've got to stop rereading posts, depression killlllls. I mean, it's funny how so much can change in a year. Well, you changed me. Sometimes i don't even know what I want anymore. A time machine,maybe? I can't possibly throw it all away :( That fragile illusion of security I managed to construct since a year ago? Destroyed. Bottle everything up. Ahhh I feel patheticccccccc and I need to stop. I want to be able to open up again but the problem is that the only person that I want to open up to is you. Cause it healed me last year. I was afraid to have it and then I got it and then i lost it and now aaaaaahhh. Spareee my broken english . You know why it's so hard to do it? cause it was more than just that few months to me, it was a whole year, more than a year actually :( gggeeeeeeez. I can't say all these in person, because I might as well just drop dead in front of you HAHAHA But you know what, no regrets, none at all and it's alllll gonna be okay cause I'm trying. But yeah, Another 2 weeks till the holidays are over and I can't wait! I feel like i've been imprisoned at home :( I want to go outtt but now I'm stuck here having piano lessssssons at home. major hate. I need to start on my english essays. Who on earth gives holiday homework?! Aha anyway, I've actually managed to achieve some of my holiday goals! - Get a second piercing! Yeeeeehaaaww.
- Started on my English Toefl book.
- Finished the Harry Potter series ♥ AVADA KEDAVRAAA
- Started swimming lessons with Hoeeeyong! HAHAHA I've got tan lines now nooooo :(
- Finished reading 3 books in 3 weeks and now I'm starting to read my fourth! Dan Brownnnnn ! LIKE A BOSS.
- I started paintingg :P
And yeah that's about it. But heyyyy, life can be a lose-lose situation sometimes and I've just got to learn how to look at it from the bright side more often. x
Monday, December 5, 2011
  CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE AH YAPS. now :Y this is very important HAHAHA because its gonna be with you :Y if you know what i mean HAHAHAHAHA
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