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Thursday, August 17, 2017

I've learnt to accept that some things are just outta my control~ and that overthinking wouldn't help or change anything that will happen in the future lol. all that happens when I overthink = I lie in bed and while my time away just being an unproductive P.O.S, feel crazy, and I let my stress level sky rocket to the point where I feel jittery I'm not even kidding

I hate how the future is so uncertain.......... well everything has been uncertain for me since 1996 LOL

I used to be uncertain about my life after uni (who am I kidding cuz I still am!!!), I want one thing to be certain tho sigh. I feel so safe~

gotta listen to my own advice:
"Natalie~ be positive!!! your japchae will turn out fine I can already smell it and it smells goooooood!!" was what I said to my housemate while she whined away about how hungry and how disgusting her food would taste lol. Minutes later she went " Lynn!!!! be positive!!!! Your essay and thesis will come around!! hehe ur words Lynn" 


Well my 5000 word essay is finally due tomorrow but I'm just chilling on my bed after a FT sesh cause I just can't seem to pull my ass outta bed oh my god well at least I'm updating myself with songs on a new playlist on Spotify~

guys I am legit craving for Singapore's lobster porridge from Orchid live seafood. If anyone goes down there please go and have it!!!!! 


Sunday, August 13, 2017

.... is it bad that sometimes I just want to shut out everything around me and not do anything at all?

I just don't want to be a let down, I don't want to be a BURDEN. I feel like I'm dragging people along w me on this journey and I don't feel like the most productive human being out there. it's so unfair for people......my parents my fam my friends, i dont want to rant cause it's so exhausting for them to be there for me LOL but if i keep it all in i would probably implode
everyone is going so far on in their lives cuz they know what they wanna do where am i what am i doing..

happy daysss????????


Friday, August 11, 2017

Sigh when I say that I can't deal.... I really can't.
I've asked myself this question probably a gazillion times now :(

Why did I do it??????????? Why am I here?

Sometimes I feel like it's okay to share my thoughts/feelings more often these days and to the right people because some people are more open, and the replies seem to more genuine as compared to the usual textbook replies. However the thought of being that needy person who vents 24:7 still bothers me! Yes, I complain to people, my friends and family, but I feel so selfish when I do that because I'm complaining about my life (which I must admit, is pretty damn good???? I'm so blessed w everything that I NEED) and my parents are giving everything they've got.. and I just don't wanna let anyone down. I'm so caught in between cause I feel so useless ugh

Anyone ever been caught in a 'crying fit'? Cause I have. Today. It was crazy :(

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Approximately 168 hours ago TAKE ME BACK NOWW

I seem to be always doing this to myself but... I have this love hate relationship with having throwbacks, to times where I enjoyed myself a lot and oh my god would I do anything to relive those moments. Honestly I've had so many of such happy moments this year and I am ever so grateful!!
They are mostly of moments I have spent with the people I love, trying out new things and eating a lot of good food HAHA (Having night out's w my bros in London, having amazing lobster porridge in Singapore, going to the driving range w Darren and my dad (HAHA wtf), spending some family time in Sydney, and also to trying out new places w my bestflen in the city!! The food scene here is seriously insane + expensive lol)

Just gotta remind myself that I'm ever so blessed to have had the opportunity to experience all of these oh myyy

It's just been a rough day for me and it's only 1.48 in the afternoon LOL Felt super sad and mad at myself this morning I've got a 5000 word essay due next week but yet here I am typing out this blogpost. Gotta get them priorities STRAIGHT.

ok time to shut all irrelevant tabs and continue reading about "Green" Engineering. sigh.

edit* omfg I m currently in the study room in my urbanest accoms and I'm feeling terribly alone at the moment it's not even funny.............................................. trying my utter best to type out an essay in acceptable 'engineering' language and realising that my command of English is so CHA.
Also, some people just tried to kick me outta the room so that they could play GAMES lol just LOL.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

gotta keep reminding myself that it is not the ultimatum

 it is not!!!!!

n i am so happy

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Y am I so affected by other people's actions?????
Seriously not as tight as before but really sometimes I don't see unity
So much for the 'effort' zzz seriously shouldn't be so affected!!!!!! But I know I am lol

Tuesday, July 4, 2017


much love! singapore picture spam (in random order haha) 

had a ball of a time. take me back to a week ago so that i can relive the past week please!!
lots of love!!!!!!!!!!


Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Summer holiday picture spam! Won't go into the deets of what we did because 12 days is just too long. Anyway, i had SO MUCH FUN i am having withdrawals at the moment haha all the good food, the beautiful views, the carefree moments and not to forget the amazing company.